Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Hurricane Dylan

Flying solo is so much fun with an almost 2 year old.  Heres a run down of the past day and 1/2 while Eric has been in the cities (this will also serve as your recap, Poppy, so dont be giving me your usual hand gesture of "go ahead and tell me everything"):

Tuesday Morning, 8am:  Hurricane Dylan is on the horizon.  Reports are saying that its gonna be a bad one, so I tried to button down the hatches.  Unfortunately, I was too late and it had already started.  Peanut butter laden stools, dumped blocks and strewn about pillows and blankies - all left behind in this first band.

9am: The Dollar Store, Brainerd: Hurricane Dollar Store must have hit right before Hurricane Dylan arrived. This place was a disaster area.  Figured it wouldnt matter if Dylan threw every football he could get his hands on.  Mental note tho - DON'T go back there with Dylan or risk not making it out of that place with my sanity.

10am: At the Brainerd Target.  Hurricane Dylan poured an entire sippy of water into DD's carseat - result: a boy with a wet butt.  And for the record, this was not my fault - it was Poppy's fault.  Yes, he's not here - but he was the one who decided we'd not use the little thingys that hold the water in.  

10:35am: Back in the wet carseat.  Hurricane Dylan devoured 5 peanut butter M&M's and screamed for more.  

11am: The Discount Liquor Store: Mom had to stop for reinforcements.  Necessary for survival later in the day.  Hurricane Dylan gains strength with a sucker given to him by the liquor store clerk.

11:15am: Hurricane Dylan hits Libby (my car) again with a douse of sticky hands and a chewed up lollypop stick.

12pm: Lunch time.  Hurricane Dylan eats his slice of pizza and then puts a giant mouthful of hamburger from the leftover pasta dish in his mouth, chews it up, and spits it out all over the floor.  Hurricane Dylan gets put straight down for a nap.

12:30pm: Hurricane Tracker Tricia works out to try and de-stress from the half day of destruction.  Little does she know, she should have saved her strength.  

1:30ish: Hurricane Dylan sneaks up on Tracker Tricia just as she is finishing her shower.  WHAT?!, she thinks?  The usual 2-3 hour nap reduced to MAYBE 45 minutes?!  I didnt even get a chance to clean up from when the initial bands that came through!  Hurricane Dylan then comes screaming back into the family room demanding we read every book in the house.  The path of destruction grows larger.  Now we have blocks, blankets and pillows, cushions, laundry that needs to be folded AGAIN, books and cars strewn all over the room.  The clean up is going to be treacherous.  Mention of a clean up sends Hurricane Dylan into a fit of hysterics.  Apparently hes not ready to wind down.

4pm: Just as Oprah's new season begins, Hurricane Dylan decides its time to "tip Mommy."  Apparently he is missing rough housing with his dad.  Mommy is injured more than once.  Luckily, Hurricane Dylan gives kisses when he hurts Mommy. 

5pm: Hurricane Dylan loses strength and demands he be fed.  He is replenished with a panini sandwich and edamame.  

5:45pm: Back at full strength, Hurricane Dylan takes his destruction outdoors.  He kicks up rocks and dust and dirt out by the road.  He throws all his toys into the yard and kicks his ball into the neighbors yard.  He screams when Mommy wont go get it.  He swings in the Honduran swing chair and squeals with delight.  He then decides its time to go back indoors when he's done enough damage outside.  

6:45pm: Back to the books.  Must read every book again before heading upstairs to destroy up there as well.

7pm: Time for bed.  Hurricane D must throw the pillows off of mom and dad's bed before heading to his own crib for the evening.  We must not leave a single room untouched.  Then, he remembers something he forgot to destroy....... Daddy's office had not been turned upside down yet.  He heads in there with a menacing look in his eye.  When I came in to stop him, it was too late! The file cabinet was tipped over.  The desk was overturned!  The loon picture was ripped in half!  Oh no!!!!  

7:10pm: Tracker Tricia wrestles the Hurricane into his crib, but not without singing each song twice.  Super Blankies in hand, Hurricane Dylan finally settles.

7:15pm: Tracker Tricia pours a gigantic glass of wine, puts on her swimsuit and drowns in the hot tub.  

The End.  

Ok, so I didnt drown, but I also didn't pick up all of Hurricane Dylan before my bedtime.  The glass of wine and the hot tub made sure of it!


  1. geez, I'd have had more than one glass of wine!!!
    sooo you got the hot tub working then????

  2. omg--that sounds terrifying! thank god i evacuated in time.

  3. Yeah, i chose to stay despite the news of the impending storm. Eric chose to leave. Milly and I decided to try and ride it out. We survived. Barely.

    Hot tub was always working - it was just a matter of having the correct chemicals in it.

  4. What a day. Ike Schmike, look out for Dylan!

  5. Fiction can be fun, but I find the reference section more enlightenly!

    I find it hard to believe such an angel is even remotely possible of causing such destruction.

  6. It sounds like it is hurricane season because hurricane El has been here for a couple of days!